Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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