tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
