maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize