Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
