saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
he puts the penis in happiness.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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