hotel room ftw
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Randomize
