Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
