We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize