I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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