Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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