So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
