Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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