You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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