No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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