apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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