That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
