I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize