i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
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