I cockslap morals
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Is Oprah even human
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
