I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
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