I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize