I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
