Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
