nut hugger
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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