i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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