The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize