please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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