Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(281): View more from Texas

They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.

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(+90): View more from Turkey

Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.

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(630): View more from Illinois

She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.

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(989): View more from Michigan

I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.

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(614): View more from Ohio

2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.

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(713): View more from Texas

onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.

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