Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
