i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
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