No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
