I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just threw up on my dentist
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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