Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize