there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Randomize
