I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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