Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
