It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
