i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
