wake up i wanna do it froggy style
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
