You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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