i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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