I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
