Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(649): View more from Turks & Caicos

So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it

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(310): View more from California

I think I won the penis lottery.

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(651): View more from Minnesota

well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face

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(404): View more from Georgia

considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.

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(217): View more from Illinois

I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...

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(510): View more from California

Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.

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(520): View more from Arizona

Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!

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