you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
