The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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