Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
