She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I think a kid would responsible me up
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize