make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
