I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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