do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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