Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
my poor anus
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
