Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
