Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
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