ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
