she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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