Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
