i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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