Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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