He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
