Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
