Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
