i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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