you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
